December 5th: Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
After living together for a year and a half, I let my former roommate and former friend in Austin go.
How our friendship deteriorated so quickly over the span of a few months, I couldn’t even begin to explain. I only know that in the final two months or so of sharing a living space with her and her boyfriend, I felt like an unwanted house guest. A stranger, who had suddenly invaded their perfectly happy lives.
We had gotten along really well from the beginning–I, a newcomer to Austin and fresh out of college, and her, well on her way to grad school and knowledgeable about the city. We bonded over our likes and dislikes, becoming fast friends. I came to rely on her, as if she were one of my closest and dearest friends from college. I thought I was fortunate to find someone like her to befriend, and at the time, perhaps that was the case. But as my discontent with my life in Austin grew, so did the space between us. I had watched over the space of a year as she broke up with her boyfriend, an aimless college dropout, due to his lack of direction and general purpose in life to getting engaged as I walked out of that house and out of their lives, permanently. And her relationship with her boyfriend changed over time, so did my relationship with her. With that city. With that life.
I hate losing friends. I always have. Friendship is important to me, cultivated over time and what little trust I can offer. I had a feeling that our friendship would ultimately not last, in the face of my own personal challenges. We both did things that were spiteful in the end, unnecessary and damaging things that would ultimately cement the fact that we will most likely never speak to one another again.
So, I let her go. I had to. Despite the cold shoulders and obviously passive-aggressive words exchanged in the end, I wish her nothing but the best. I let go of everything in Austin, and went on my merry way.